Did LIBRARIANS, SQUIRRELS, ALIENS or AME DYCKMAN steal my books?

*****[Exciting update November 9, 2021, 3:30 pm ET: MY BOX OF CONTRIBUTOR COPIES JUST ARRIVED!!!!.]

According to my social media followers, either librarians, squirrels, aliens or Ame Dyckman stole my books! 😀

Even though I’M SORRY launched over two months ago (Sept.7th), I have yet to receive my box of contributor copies because of shipping delays. I know shipping delays have affected the industry everywhere, and even though I was disappointed not to be able to

(Update: ironically, just as I was in the middle of typing the paragraph above, our power went out in our neighbourhood. Usually when this happens in our area, it’s because of a SQUIRREL. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. 🙂 )

What I was going to say was that even though I was disappointed at missing out on the “first to see the first copies” experience, I was very happy to see that indie bookstores and those who had pre-ordered were getting their copies! That’s much more important than me getting mine.

Plus it gave me an excuse to legitimately ask, WHERE ARE MY BOOKS?

So I asked my followers for what they think REALLY happened to my books, took a selection of suggestions, edited some slightly for clarity, and asked people to vote. 71 responded, and here are a list of the winning answers:

28% votes, WINNING ENTRY
“A librarian at a remote elementary school has trained squirrels to abscond with and reroute book deliveries because she hasn’t been given an annual budget and feels the end justifies the means.” – Maria Powell (@MrsPowellsBooks on Twitter, whose blog is LovingTheLibrary.org) Maria gave me permission to edit a bit for posting here. 🙂

18.3% votes: “Ame Dyckman sent her trained squirrels.” – Susan Ranes (@Susan_Ranes), Melissa Bogaert (@bogiemomof2), Erin Dealey (@ErinDealey), Ame Dyckman in response (@AmeDyckman) (I took all the suggestions that involved squirrels and Ame Dyckman, combined them into this answer for voting. Even though this answer didn’t get the most votes, I find it hilarious that so many of you think that Ame Dyckman was responsible, heh. Not surprisingly, considering some of the exchanges she and I have had about SQUIRRELS.)

11.3% votes: “They’re where all those missing socks end up after laundry day.” – Megan Peterson (@peterson2teachU)

8.5% votes: “They’re socially distancing.”

7% votes: “The mailman decided to stop and read them in the park.” – Kris Barr Paquette (@Readingteachkbp)

7% votes: “They were on their way when the cargo ship entered an unseen portal which took the books to the fifth dimension where they are being enjoyed by strange looking but book loving fifth dimension creatures.” – Aileen Stewart (@AileenWStewart)

2.8% votes: “Aliens abducted them.” – Just a SPED Teacher (@spedteacheriam), Cathy Carr (@CathyCarrWrites)

2.8% votes: “Since building materials are in short supply, ‘maybe there’s a book house out there with your name on it!'”

1.4% votes: “They were caught in a chronosynclastic infundibulum.” – Steve Fey (@stevefey)

Thanks to Maria Powell, whose suggestion got the most votes! As promised, here is my illustration, which I’m sending to Maria by snailmail:

Thanks to all who participated in my fun challenge! And please keep your fingers crossed that my box o’ books arrives soon. I checked in with Michael Ian Black as well, and he has not yet received his contributor copies, either.

Meanwhile, my publicist Rita Silva at Simon & Schuster Canada found out that I had not yet received any finished copies of I’M SORRY from the U.S. and sent me five copies from the Canadian office….THANK YOU, S&S CANADA!

Update at 3:30 pm ET: