The Secret Club

Today is my brother's birthday. In my mind's eye, I can only imagine him as he was at the time of the accident nearly fifteen years ago...he'll always be 27 years old to me.

Greg McMullan's death reminded me all over again about how unexpected life can be, and how you should never take time for granted.

Everyone handles death differently, and I would never say "I know how you feel" to someone who has lost a close loved one. But I do think that there's a certain awareness one gains in the experience that can't be learned second-hand or through books.

It's like a secret club -- one that no one wants to join but most do, eventually. And when a new member appears, you feel like hugging them and whispering in their ear, "I'm sorry you had to join the club."

Everyone takes away something different from the experience. Some take away lifelong bitterness. I purposely chose to take away something more positive; it helped me deal with my grief and to add meaning to what had happened.

I keep harping on what I learned throughout my Blatherings to the point of cliché because they're not a cliché to me and in my opinion, this particular knowledge CAN be learned by non-Club types:


And these are:

1. Embrace life fully.

2. Take control of what happens in your life; be an active participant, not a passive observer. If you're unhappy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

3. Never take anything or anyone for granted.

4. Don't get in a rut. Purposely seek out new experiences. It's good to step outside your little comfort zone bubble every once in a while.


I didn't really take these to heart until I joined The Secret Club when my mom died of cancer, and then even more so when Jim and Diane died. My life has been much enriched as a result. Thing is, you -don't- have to be in the Club to figure any of this out.

So here's a survey for anyone else out there in The Club (or even those who aren't): What nuggets of life wisdom would you add to this list? Serious AND silly nuggets welcome. :-)

Thanks to those who posted birthday greetings for Jeff yesterday! He enjoyed reading all of them and (*gasp) even posted a comment himself.

Thanks also to Sibylle for her recent package, which made me laugh out loud when I opened it:



Yes, it's an EVIL SQUIRREL CANDLE! She and Steve Macdonald found it while browsing the Christmas market in Hamburg. "We thought it'd be great for burning in effigy..." :-D

And CONGRATS to my friend Rand Bellavia -- he and Adam English have been invited as the International Guests of Honour at Axxidental, the UK filk convention next year! Richard "Hitch" Wheatley will be the UK Guest of Honour.



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