having children (or not)

Had to share the above photo, with one of our nephews cheerfully digging his fingers into Jeff's face yesterday at a family gathering.

Jeff and I don't have kids of our own, have never tried to have kids of our own. Earlier on in our marriage, we often encountered curiosity about our decision not to have kids. We both enjoy spending time with children and actually do -like- children, so I don't blame people for being confused.

On rare occasion, I used to run into near-resentment from some people about our decision not to have kids, or the attitude that there must be something wrong with me NOT to want children.

My attitude is this: children are an incredible gift, sometimes taken for granted. If I was going to have children, I would never want to drift into it or by default; I would want it to be a fully conscious decision, with complete awareness and acceptance of the responsibilities involved. Part of this package is also acceptance of the sacrifices involved (and hopefully the rewards as well, but that's not a given) and willingness to adjust life priorities to reflect this decision.

Sometimes I do wonder briefly about what my life would have been like if Jeff and I had chosen to have children. Much different than my life now, I suspect. :-) I have never regretted our decision, not even for a moment.

Not having my own children makes me appreciate other people's children even more, ironically. I enjoy spending some time with them (well, most of them), getting to know them, figuring out how their heads work.

And I appreciate even more those parents who make the decision to have kids and do a decent job at it. :-)

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