an awkward elevator conversation

Ruth and me, in kimonos sent to us by relatives in Japan.


I recently had a brief and somewhat awkward conversation in the elevator in our apartment building. The other person was a man who looked to be in his mid to late 50s, possibly older; we had run into each other in the elevator several times in past years, not a surprise considering the relatively small number of tenants and the fact that our elevator doors tend to take a very long time to open and close.

Jeff and I have been living in this building for quite a while, and though we don't tend to socialize with the other tenants, we have gotten to know some of them on a very minimal level based on just the conversations we have had with them in elevators. The most entertaining elevator rides are the ones with very young children who spend the ride staring intently at everyone, or make sudden announcements like, "I have pants on!".

Anyway, the man in the elevator asked me if I was Chinese. I told him I had a Japanese background.

"Does your husband play golf?" he said.

"No," I said, curious.

The man looked surprised, then gave a loud laugh. "Well, that's the first time I ever heard of a Japanese male who didn't play golf!"

I stared at him for a moment, completely at a loss for what to say in response. Finally I told him that my husband was Caucasian, and he looked even more surprised.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't upset. I have encountered racism so rarely in Toronto that when I do personally come across it, I find it more fascinating than truly upsetting, as if I've just stumbled across an unusual beetle on the sidewalk, or someone tells me that I am wearing too much foobar. Then again, I have been lucky enough never to have encountered blatant in-your-face racist insults, only subtle instances where the speaker is basically well-meaning and oblivious, like the man in the elevator.

(This entry was written with ViaVoice, a voice recognition program, which sometimes has its own sense of humor. Please forgive any spelling or grammar quirks which Debbie has missed while editing. Thank you. )

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