asian eyes

Today's entry is part of an On Display collaboration project. Our assignment: to write about a body part.

Most of my childhood was spent in the suburbs of Toronto, where I was the only Asian in all my classes through elementary and high school. None of my childhood friends were Asian.

Because I was constantly surrounded by a sea of mostly Caucasian faces (there was very little ethnic diversity out in the suburbs back then), I think that I subconsciously figured I blended in with everyone else, that I wasn't really that different.

I didn't want to be different.





From time to time, however, I'd be reminded that I was different, whether I liked it or not. I'd be glancing over a class photo, for example, and be struck by how much my own features stood out from the others. I'd catch a glimpse of myself in the girls' locker room mirror, my jet black hair amidst all the blondes and browns and reds.

Sometimes I'd be reminded through comments from other children, sometimes innocent, sometimes not-so-innocent. I remember when a friend pooh-poohed my high marks in school, saying that it wasn't fair, that it was a fact that all Japanese people were smarter. A compliment (that I was smarter) and an insult (that I didn't have to work for my marks) at the same time.





I've been called Jap, Japanee, Chink, Slanty-Eyes, Geisha-Girl, but always by other little kids. Though obviously meant as an insult, neither the name-caller nor I fully understood the implications and history behind the terms.

I've always found it baffling how the lack of or addition of a fold in the eyelid (or a difference in skin colour, hair colour, or whatever) can change so much how some people can perceive you. ("Ah, she's Japanese. That must mean she's good at math, is inscrutable and takes a lot of photographs!")

Er.

Okay, so maybe the part about the photographs is true. :-)

As a child, I had always wanted to fit in. As I grew older, I learned the value of being different. I'm not talking about just physical differences, but all other aspects as well.





It freaks me out to hear about some Asians would actually have plastic surgery to look more Western. Okay, perhaps these people don't explicitly say they want to look more Western. As this page about blepharoplasty seems to indicate, they want to look "less tired" and "more youthful" (implying, of course, that all Asians look tired and old!).

I like my eyes. They may not see all that well without glasses, may have wrinkles (sorry, that should be "laugh lines") starting around the corners, may not be the "look into my gaze and drown yourself in unbridled passion" eyes on the faces of gorgeous magazine cover models. But they're all me. :-)

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Today's Blatherpics:

	I took this and the other photos on this page during my run along Harbourfront late yesterday afternoon.
	The roof of an outdoor metal gazebo-like structure in the Toronto Music Garden. I didn't even know there WAS a Toronto Music Garden until yesterday afternoon! Each section of the garden has a musical name, like "Prelude" or "Gavotte".
	Yay, was glad to see that these flowers survived the recent snow. :-)
	I took this photo from the Toronto Music Garden, looking toward the CN tower. The building in the photo is a condo complex.
	My eye. :-)