bikini nightmares

I found the responses to my grocery shopping poll interesting. Some felt that shopping on an empty stomach was best, some felt the opposite. Some prefer doing it alone, some with the whole family.

I was amused by Heather Munn's comment, "For clothes, I would rather give birth during a root canal." Though I don't feel as strongly about clothes shopping (except when it comes to swimsuit shopping), I have to admit I don't usually enjoy it. I'm not sure where women got the reputation for enjoying clothes shopping so much...perhaps from a few very high profile women who were obsessed with it, or maybe it's all a scam perpetrated by the major clothing stores. :-)

My problem is that I have a very limited attention span re: clothes shopping. I'll enjoy briefly browsing through a rack of colourful peasant skirts (I have a weakness for peasant skirts, mainly they're as comfortable as my pjs but I can wear them outdoors). If I'm forced to clothes-shop for more than about twenty minutes or so, however, my eyes glaze over and I start getting crabby, bitching about the prices, the lights in the change rooms, the muzak.

For me, the biggest hassle is in the process of taking off and putting on clothes when you're trying things on. I *hate* this. Usually because things that look great on the rack suddenly lose all appeal as soon as I put them on. I especially hate clothes that I have to pull over my head, because my hair usually ends up a static-filled horror, clinging to my face, turning my body into one giant electrostatic shock waiting to be unleashed.

Swimsuit shopping is the WORST, though. It's difficult to find a more humbling experience. The harsh overhead lights, the magnifying changeroom mirrors, the perky little clerks with their Britney Spears bodies...they all make me want to go screaming into the night. Here's my idea of the perfect swimsuit.

Guys are lucky...their basic decision is usually just between boxers and tights. Guys are better off in clothing all around, really. Sure, you have to wear ties, but that's a small price to pay for escaping the mental ravages of women's clothing psychology.

And don't even get me started on the topic of pantyhose...

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Deadline for the Oscar Poll contest: this Saturday!